It really happened. I sent Nolan to school. There may or may not have been tears. His tears? My tears? Well, it's not really important. But I like to think we came out above it. He was so excited to see me and tell me about his couple hours with his new teacher and friends.
I just have this uncontrollable fear that he won't "fit in" or whatever it is that three year olds do when they are are together in a group. Like, will they see that he is shy and not let him play with the frickin train table. Will they sit there and laugh at the little cry baby whose mom couldn't bear to part with him for 3 1/2 years? Or maybe they'll be sweet little kids who just love everyone and welcome him with open (probably snotty and germy) arms?
What concerns me more is will I FIT IN?? Taking you toddler to school is like a whole new level of scary, cliquey high school ness. Who are the cool parents? Which parents are the ones to avoid? Which ones don't bathe? Well, those ones are usually easy to find. But really, I felt so awkward and weird walking through his school. See, there's a carpool lane to drop off and pick up your kids where school volunteers will get your kids out of the car and put them in for the sake of flowing traffic. Well, I of course wanted to go inside to get Nolan and talk to his teacher about his monumental first day of school. I had no clue what to do. I got stuck in the car pool line. Little did I know, I was in the wrong one anyways. Then I went to go inside but the door was locked. Apparently I exude child stealer in my cute boots and leg warmers, pea coat, and sparkle scarf. So, I explained to the volunteers that I'm not so experienced at having a big kid that goes to school and can't get into the school to pick up my baby. Miss So and So kindly led me in the door (which conveniently was not locked a whopping 30 seconds after I tried it) and apologized for being over bearing and overly excited to pick up Nolan. I felt like everyone was staring at me like "um get a grip. Your kid is fine. You look like a creep."
But in reality, I'm sure nobody thought I was anythign other than a concerned, excited mama who was ready to get her boy. From his teachers I learned that he had a pretty good day. As I was leaving, I saw him with his arm over his eyes like he was hiding the fact that he was crying. That was rough. But after that, everything seemingly went smoothly. He got a little weepy here and there, but SURPRISE, he found a Spiderman toy that saved his day.
Hey, he says he'll go back. Surely it wasn't that bad. Who knows, maybe I'll even get to go to the gym like I planned!!
*fingers crossed we both fit in*
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